Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
