Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We got so high we made milksteak
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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