You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
