I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
