I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize