Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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