My nipple is on Facebook.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
