he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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