If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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