And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Who died my cat blue again?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
