I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
