i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
