and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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