is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
