listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
