Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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