That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
