just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
