Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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