Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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