i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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