So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
