I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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