i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
