My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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