You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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