Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
