Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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