why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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