Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
