Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So squirting runs in the family.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
