i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
