Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
