We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
