you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
