i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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