I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
