I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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