She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
