You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
