I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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