I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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