My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize