i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
