my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize