I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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