you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
