can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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