I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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