i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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