Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
