He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
