but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
