he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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