We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
