so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
