This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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