Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
