So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
