giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
