we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
