Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm always down for nudity.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
