I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
