why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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