My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize