if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
tell me about the fingering
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