Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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