Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
