I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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