Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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